Recovery from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD

PTSD

Jul 22

What is a nonviolent abusive relationship?

An abusive relationship does not always have to be physically violent. Verbal abuse from significant relationships can leave invisible scars, which can affect the fruitfulness of your future relationships. Setting boundaries in your relationships is a great start. However, that is not enough to expect full recovery mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. Are you always second guessing people’s motives? Are you paranoid of getting hurt again? Are you now hyper independent because of your scars? These are all normal responses to trauma, but are also signs that you have not fully healed.

Abusive relationships commonly come with an offset power dynamic, where one is in control. This can be any family relationship, mentoring/career relationship, friendship or romantic relationship. Any situation where someone else has more power (either existing due to societal structure or if it is given up by one person) can become an abusive relationship. Often times, the abuser will result in using these tactics:

Manipulation
Gaslighting to question reality
Keeping you away from other important relationships
Threatening harm to you or themselves
Constantly criticizing you

Can verbal abuse cause PTSD

The aftermath from verbally abusive relationships can leave you with emotional scars and trauma. Everyone’s trauma response is different, which can be complex in understanding. If you find yourself with any of these symptoms, you may have unhealed trauma or complex PTSD from (narcissistic) abuse:

Avoiding internal reminders (such as thoughts or memories) of the complex trauma
Avoiding external reminders (such as places, people, or situations) of the complex trauma
Feeling hypervigilant or on edge
Emotionally reactive
Having ongoing negative beliefs about oneself, such as feeling worthless, helpless, or like a failure
Having trouble with relationships and sustaining relationships
Having difficulty trusting people
Avoiding relationships or lacking interest in relationships

PTSD from narcissistic abuse

There is a difference between someone who has traits of narcissism versus someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). A personality disorder must be diagnosed by a clinician; they have behaviors outside of cultural norms that are long-lasting and cause problems functioning. They usually lack empathy and put themselves on a pedestal.

Gaslighting

Narcissistic gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse used by someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) to gain power and control over others. This kind of abuse can lead the one they’re in a relationship with to doubt their own feelings and sanity.

Codependency

Codependency in a trauma bond is when someone feels loyal to and depends on their abuser as a way to cope with a traumatic situation. This often happens because the abuser goes through cycles of abuse and affection. The abuser always goes back to a pattern of being loving and caring, keeping the other person in a conflicted state.

Complex PTSD from narcissistic abuse

Complex trauma refers to the psychological and emotional effects of prolonged traumatic experiences, often within personal relationships. Unlike a single traumatic event, complex trauma involves ongoing abuse, neglect, or harm that can last for months or even years. A significant aspect of complex trauma is that the victim often feels trapped, powerless, or dependent on the abuser, making it difficult or feel impossible to escape the abusive relationship.

PTSD from emotional abuse test

The PCL-5 questionnaire is used by clinicians to score the intensity of PTSD symptoms. Below is a list of problems that people sometimes have in response to a very stressful experience. Keeping your worst event in mind, please read each problem carefully and then select one of the numbers to indicate how much you have been triggered by that problem in the past month.

1. Repeated, disturbing, and unwanted memories of the stressful experience?

2. Repeated, disturbing dreams of the stressful experience?

3. Suddenly feeling or acting as if the stressful experience were actually happening again (as if you were actually back there reliving it)?

4. Feeling very upset why something reminded you of the stressful experience?

5. Having strong physical reactions when something reminded you of the stressful experience (for example, heart pounding, trouble breathing, sweating)?

6. Avoiding memories, thoughts, or feelings related to the stressful experience?

7. Avoiding external reminders of the stressful experience (for example, people, places, conversations, activities, objects or situations)?

8. Trouble remembering important parts of the stressful experience?

9. Having strong nergative beliefs about yourself, other people, or the world (for example, having thoughts like: there is something seriously wrong with me, no one can be trusted, the world is completely dangerous)?

10. Blaming yourself or someone else for the stressful experience or what happened after it?

11. Having strong negative feelings such as fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame?

12. Loss of interest in activities that you used to enjoy?

13. Feeling distant or cut off from other people?

14. Trouble experiencing positive feelings (for example, being unable to feel happiness or have loving feelings for people close to you)?

15. Irritable behavior, angry outbursts, or acting aggressively?

16. Taking too many risks or doing things that could cause you harm?

17. Being overly suspicious, watchful or on guard?

18. Feeling jumpy or easily startled?

19. Having difficulty concentrating?

20. Troubling falling or staying asleep?

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Recovery from narcissistic abuse

Recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, codependency and complex ptsd is a personal journey where one shoe does not fit all. Receiving therapy can be beneficial for some. Some methods of therapy commonly used to treat PTSD include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of talk therapy that helps you reframe negative beliefs and address unhealthy behaviors, providing coping skills for managing thoughts, emotions, and stress from trauma. Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT), for children and teens, addresses mood, behavior, social skills, and negative thoughts, involving a non-abusive parent or caregiver.
Exposure therapy helps you safely confront your trauma or its reminders. Prolonged Exposure (PE) therapy for PTSD involves gradually facing these triggers with a mental health professional, either by discussing the trauma in detail or exposing yourself to related stimuli. Over time, this process desensitizes you, reducing strong emotional or physical reactions to these triggers.

How Drip Training can help

Some people find it challenging to talk about their experiences or prefer healing through actions rather than words. Increasing scientific evidence shows that various forms of movement can significantly benefit mental health. At Drip Training, we use tailored movement exercises to match your trigger and fitness levels, helping your body learn to control its response to triggers instead of being controlled by them. For more information, please contact Coach Dee by clicking here.

Conclusion

Recovery from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD is a challenging journey, but it is possible. Recognizing the signs of trauma, seeking appropriate therapy, and finding supportive resources can pave the way for healing. Remember, your mental health is a priority, and taking steps towards recovery is a courageous and essential part of your journey. By addressing the trauma and learning to manage your responses, you can reclaim control over your life and move towards a healthier, happier future.

Deborah Park